My Story

How the Conscious Uncoupling Process Came to Be

I teach about love.

How to find love.

How to keep and nourish the love you find.

And, when necessary, how to let love go.

And how to do that in a way that protects the sanctity of your soul, relieves your heart of unnecessary pain, restores your peace of  mind, and honors the dignity of the relationship you’re releasing.

In a way that minimizes damage done to yourself and all involved, and allows everyone to thrive in life moving forward.

Especially the kids, if you have them.

I never started out hoping to become a guru on breakups. 

My entire career has been about growing our skills and capacities to realize the higher potentials our relationships hold for love, happiness and wellbeing.

Yet having had the honor of teaching tens of thousands of people over the past twenty years, I’ve seen first hand the harm that can happen when a breakup is bitter.

How grief can linger, and choke the hope of ever being happy again from a person’s life.

How a heart can become heavy and hardened with the burden of unresolved resentment. 

All breakups are a crossroads and many go on to live lesser lives in the aftermath of heartbreak and betrayal.

Inside of my commitment to inspire greater levels of love in the world, I felt it important to tackle this area, and provide us all with a clear and effective roap map to maximize positive growth, and minimize the hurt we can so easily cause each other with our unconscious and primitive impulses to hurt the one who is hurting us.

I created Conscious Uncoupling when my former husband, Mark and I decided to divorce after ten years of marriage.

I felt confused, lost and even a bit embarrassed by our breakup, particularly because I was a known teacher of love and relationships. Yet our saving grace was the intention Mark and I set together that our young daughter have a happy childhood. Something neither of us had due to our own parents nasty and contentious divorces, which caused each of us to lose contact with one of our parents.

That shared intention became our North Star that helped us overcome any petty impulses and power struggles, and motivated us to find ways to transition out of our marriage and into a friendly, cooperative co-parenting relationship, that allowed our daughter to feel safe, loved and held inside of our “happy even after” post-divorce family.

That journey eventually became the five steps of conscious uncoupling, a step by step process to guide you through the pain of a breakup and ensure that you (and those you love) are able to come out the other side of this with hearts that are healed, happy, healthy and whole.

Given that we live in a time when more people will divorce this year than eat grapefruit or buy a new car, I think it’s time that we learned a better way. 

I’m grateful beyond measure that Conscious Uncoupling has been able to provide a more peaceful pathway for so many throughout the world. The opportunity to take one of the worst things that’s ever happened to me, and turn it into an offering of hope, healing and light has been one of the most beautiful, meaningful experiences of my life. 

My prayer is that you too find your way to a healed, light and happy heart, and are then liberated and inspired to pay your wisdom and light forward to others. 

With love,

Professional Bio

Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT, is the author of the New York Times Bestseller Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After which was nominated for a Books for a Better Life Award, and the National Bestseller, Calling in “The One:” 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and teacher to thousands from all corners of the world in her virtual and in-person learning communities.

Katherine is the originator of the Conscious Uncoupling process made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. She also created and teaches the Conscious Uncoupling Quest delivered by the online transformational educational giant, Mindvalley. 

To date, Katherine has trained and credentialed hundreds of people as certified Conscious Uncoupling Coaches and as certified Calling in “The One”  Coaches.

Katherine is a powerful speaker who has had the honor of being interviewed by Maria Shriver on her well-known Architects of Change series, and has been a main stage speaker at Mindvalley University and at Lewis Howes Live Summit of Greatness Conference. She’s had  the privilege of sharing the stage with Alanis Morissette, Marianne Williamson, Neale Donald Walsch, Jean Houston, Mary Manin Morrissey and other extraordinary teachers.

Her life-affirming and highly transformative teachings have been featured on The Today Show, as well as in The New York Times, New York Magazine, Time Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, The London Times, The Guardian, People Magazine, Women’s Health and countless podcasts, summits and media outlets throughout the world.

Here’s what people say about
Conscious Uncoupling

“Katherine Woodward Thomas brings a gentle but fiercely powerful approach to what can otherwise be such a painful experience. Through Conscious Uncoupling, we can transform the deepest disappointment into a sacred journey from sorrow to peace.”

New York Times bestselling author of A Return to Love

“Katherine Woodward Thomas is as wise and intelligent as she is empathic and brave. Her knowledgeable, visionary and clear teachings have consistently represented empowerment and healing to so many, myself included. Her seer-like insight and her gentle yet unwaveringly leading-edge and applicable guidance holds our hands as we traverse the often debilitating territory of breakups and endings. I am so happy Katherine is on this planet.”

multiple time Grammy winning singer-songwriter

Conscious Uncoupling  presents a sensible and very helpful five-step approach toward turning the tragedy of a breakup into a new healthy beginning instead of a wound that keeps festering.”

bestselling author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

“In Conscious Uncoupling, Katherine Woodward Thomas has created the definitive blueprint for how to complete a relationship in a way that leaves everyone honored and empowered. If you’re considering uncoupling, I suggest you run—not walk—to the nearest bookstore and start reading it today. You’ll discover that a graceful parting of the ways is doable even under the most extreme of circumstances. I find Katherine to be always on the leading edge of thought—and we are once again the beneficiaries of her brilliance.”

bestselling author and founder/CEO of Yes to Success, Inc.