e aspire to have a life-affirming breakup or divorce characterized by the sincere effort to leave each other and all involved well, healthy and whole, and enhanced by the love that’s been shared, rather than diminished or damaged by the way the relationship ends.

Instead of shaming and blaming each other, we look to be self-responsible.

Instead of seeking retaliation and revenge, we try to forgive ourselves and each other.

Instead of indulging in greed, we aspire to be considerate of the needs of all involved, fair-minded and generous in ways that generate goodwill between us.

In the midst of fear, we choose to have faith.

In the midst of grief, we choose to affirm the l goodness of life.

In the midst of challenging problems, we choose to look for positive solutions where everyone is set up to win moving forward.

We do our best to supersede any impulse we may have to lash out and do harm by making decisions and taking actions with the sole intent of bringing healthy completion and fostering hope and healing for all involved.

While promises may have been broken, and hearts hurt in the process, we still fundamentally value, honor and appreciate the time spent together as a couple.

While we acknowledge the relationship’s shortcomings, we also recognize the overall sanctity of human relationships and choose to focus on the good that came of this union rather than dwell upon the negative.

During this tender transition, we aspire to do the least amount of damage to ourselves, each other, our children and the extended community of family and friends who have supported our union.

We avoid pulling on family and friends to take sides, and support our circle of loved ones to cultivate a healthy relationship with each of us individually.

When children are involved, we put their needs first and foremost, and work to create a new, holistic family system that allows for everyone to remain one expanded family, rather than two, fragmented ones that children can easily be torn between.

When looking for solutions to the breakdowns we face, we aspire to long-term growth over short-term gain by investing in the creation of new agreements and structures that can nurture the development and emergence of the next healthy, healed stage of the relationship.

When considering how best to divide assets and debts, we strive to be fair, reasonable and open-minded, remembering the goal is not to punish, but to preserve and protect existing assets.

We avoid unnecessary and costly litigation that could do irreparable damage and drain resources, and work instead to solve our problems with professionals who can help us do so with integrity, fairness, honesty and even-handedness.

Most of all, in the midst of our pain, we strive to do the right thing for the right reasons, allowing our ethics to triumph over our emotions. We recognize the power we hold to consciously evolve our collective behavior at the end of love to be reflective of the kinder world we aspire to create for ourselves, our children and future generations.


Yes, I agree to do my best to adhere to the Conscious Uncoupling Creed.

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