Your FREE
Conscious Uncoupling
Starter Kit
Welcome. I’m so glad you’re here.
I know your heart is hurting.
You may be full of rage or feeling incredibly fragile—or perhaps both at the same time.
Yet you’re not alone.
Whether you’re in the midst of a breakup, are still suffering with unresolved grief from a breakup in your past, or are anticipating a possible breakup in your future and you desperately want it to go well…
My 5-step Conscious Uncoupling process can support you to find immediate emotional relief from the pain you’re in and set you on the pathway toward reclaiming your power and your life. It will even support you (and your kids, if you have them) to move forward feeling happy, healthy, whole and free.
To get you started on turning your painful breakup into a healthy, new beginning, I’m providing five powerful resources in this Conscious Uncoupling Starter Kit.
I invite you to move through these resources at your own pace—whether that be to go through them all at once, take your time exploring them one by one, and/or by replaying certain ones that offer extra support and care where you need it the most.
Let’s begin.
Because contrary to popular belief, time doesn’t heal all wounds. We do.
To your happy, healthy and fully healed heart . . .
Get Started Now
with Your
Conscious Uncoupling
Starter Kit!
35-Minute Conscious Uncoupling Talk by Katherine Woodward Thomas:
How to Heal from Heartbreak, Be Free to Forgive
and Find Your Way Home to Love
The 5 Steps of Conscious Uncoupling
with Audio Practices
To Help You Integrate & Embody Each Step
Step One: Find Emotional Freedom
The first step in your Conscious Uncoupling program is to learn how to harness the energies of your dark and difficult emotions and transform them from destructive impulses to hurt yourself or others into the constructive drivers of positive change in your life.
Something has been broken.
And it’s more than just your heart.
It may be your feeling of being safe in the world or your ability to make sense of your life. Your very faith in life and love may even be shaken.
Whether you were the one who made the difficult decision to leave or you’re in the devastating position of having been left . . .
The losses you are facing are deep and dimensional.
The heart connection you called home. The shared rituals and familiar routines that shaped your daily life.
The “you” you were in your relationship. Your standing in the community. The certainty of your life together. And the future you were striving and saving for.
All of these and more things may now be gone.
And in their place, you’re left with a mix of raw and wildly unpredictable emotions, tempting to you behave in desperate or even hostile ways.
You may already have acted in ways that you’re not proud of. Done things that are outside of who you’ve always known yourself to be.
That’s how painful most breakups are.
Our hearts and our bodies are on fire.
As human beings we are hardwired to stay connected. So when a breakup happens it brings out the worst even in the best of us.
If you want to lash out, if you’re blaming yourself, if you’re consumed with resentment, if you can’t stop crying, if you’re scared you’re going to do damage to your kids (if you have them), you’re not alone.
And there is a way to harness the energies of your emotions.
In fact, it’s possible for you to take the rage, hatred,
fear and despair you may be experiencing and transform them
from destructive impulses to hurt yourself and others,
into the constructive drivers of positive change.
To help you begin, I offer you a powerful practice.
It will help de-escalate the intensity of your painful emotions, support you to hold and contain your own inner experience when you’re feeling overwhelmed, and help you to get back into driver’s seat of your life.
Only then can you make wise and life-affirming choices for the benefit of all involved, including yourself.
Clicking on the button will open and start playing the audio in a new window (on most devices). The player has an option to download the file. Another way to download the audio, right click on the button and choose “Save Link” or “Download Linked File”.
Step Two:
Reclaim Your Power and Your Life
In the second step of your Conscious Uncoupling program, you’ll discover how taking responsibility for your part liberates you from ever repeating these same mistakes again, and graduates you from any habitually painful patterns in your love life.
Do you often find yourself replaying the details of your breakup again and again?
Trying to make sense of how and when it all went so wrong . . .
Ruminating upon the subtle clues, missed conversations and fatal mistakes.
It’s normal to do this. It’s just your psyche’s way of trying to integrate the trauma.
However, where you might be getting into some trouble is that most likely, your tale will be centered upon all the ways you were misunderstood, mistreated, devalued and wronged.
For good reason too!
Your former partner probably was selfish. He didn’t keep his word. She was a cheater. He let you down.
What happened was most likely unfair and immoral.
But here’s what’s even more true.
As long as your attention stays fixated
on what someone else did or didn’t do,
you are not looking to discover
all of the subtle, covert and toxic ways
that you yourself co-created what happened.
Even if the other person is 97% at fault,
you want to be really interested in your 3%.
Why? Because until you figure out how you show up in ways that make you vulnerable to being disempowered, disappointed, or abused in love, you won’t be able to trust yourself to fully open up your heart again to another human being.
Your mission right now is to reclaim your power and your life.
And that can only happen when you are willing to see clearly all of the many ways you gave your power away, self-sabotaged, turned away from truth, borrowed against your well-being, and showed up as less than who you are.
The following practice will help you transform your victimization and resentment into the power you’ll need to move forward in life.
So you can be fully confident that you will never again make these same mistakes.
Clicking on the button will open and start playing the audio in a new window (on most devices). The player has an option to download the file. Another way to download the audio, right click on the button and choose “Save Link” or “Download Linked File”.
Step Three: Breaking the Pattern, Healing Your Heart
In the third step of your Conscious Uncoupling program, you’ll be empowered to see your “source-fracture story” clearly so you can finally and forever be freed from your painful patterns in love and be empowered to create more fulfilling and happy relationships in your future.
It’s so natural to feel disheartened by what appears to be a repeat of old painful childhood hurts showing up in your life.
We can even feel cursed when it comes to finding happiness in love.
As if we’re doomed to repeat the past.
But actually, the very opposite is true.
The sooner you can see how your life has been
happening through you rather than just to you—
through the lens of your assumptions and beliefs,
and the automatic ways you respond
inside of those perspectives . . .
The sooner you’ll be empowered to graduate
from your disappointing patterns in love.
Understanding yourself as the source of your experience means you’re not a victim of the painful patterns in love that you’ve struggled with.
You have the power to start creating new and different experiences moving forward.
It begins by seeing your “source fracture story” clearly.
That’s the story you created when you were too young to know any better. The story about who you are and what’s possible (or not) for you in love.
It was the original break in your heart.
Those beliefs that you formed as a child are what lies at the heart of your disappointments in love.
Once you see them clearly, as well as the ways you’ve been unconsciously showing up in ways that have duplicated your painful disappointments in love over and over again . . .
You’re finally free.
Free to challenge those old, unsupportive beliefs.
And free to start showing up in ways that can, and will, create entirely different experiences moving forward.
Clicking on the button will open and start playing the audio in a new window (on most devices). The player has an option to download the file. Another way to download the audio, right click on the button and choose “Save Link” or “Download Linked File”.
Step Four:
Becoming a Love Alchemist
In the fourth step of your Conscious Uncoupling program, you’re invited to clear the air with your former partner so that you have a clean slate upon which to generate a positive future for yourself and all involved.
Steps One, Two and Three have all been about you getting right within yourself.
Step Four is now about getting right with your former partner.
And now that you’re arrived at the point where you’re finally ready to clear the air of old hurts and resentments and move forward in life with a clean slate . . .
You must take a moment to recognize how far you’ve come.
It’s quite an accomplishment!
(And particularly meaningful if you and your former partner are raising children together.)
While it’s never easy to admit the negative impact
that our choices and actions may have had
upon another (intended to not), and take the
necessary actions to make amends . . .
It’s really the start of your true liberation.
And it will move you toward your new life
with renewed hope and possibility.
I encourage you to do this practice in person or as a “soul-soul communication,” where you move into a meditative state and invite the spirit of your former partner to join you for this dialogue.
Either way, you may be surprised how effective it is in dissolving toxic residue.
And it will liberate you to move forward with a light and unburdened heart.
While it takes courage and integrity to be the bigger person by extending amends for mistakes you might not have even known you were making, the rewards are great—true forgiveness and freedom for all involved, moving forward in life and love.
Clicking on the button will open and start playing the audio in a new window (on most devices). The player has an option to download the file. Another way to download the audio, right click on the button and choose “Save Link” or “Download Linked File”.
Step Five:
Creating Your Happy Even After Life
You’ve most likely been so consumed by the trauma of your breakup that you’re not yet even aware of the beautiful life that is awaiting you on the other side of grief.
But in this fifth and final step of Conscious Uncoupling, you will gain that awareness.
You’ll be supported to make wise, healthy and life-affirming decisions as you begin to reinvent your life.
And you’ll set up vital new structures that will allow you and all involved to thrive.
Your goal is not to try to create a better version of the life you once had.
Your goal is to expand what’s now possible for you.
Fresh new horizons, friends and interests—
and the exploration of forgotten, yet promising possibilities.
All of which will lead you (and those you love)
safely home to your happy even after life.
I offer you these Step Five Conscious Uncoupling Rituals to help you formally mark the transition of your relationship from one form to another.
While bittersweet, they are profoundly healing.
They will support you in bringing conscious completion to a relationship that mattered in your life.
And they’ll help you mark the end of an era in an honoring and loving way.
Clicking on the button will open and start playing the audio in a new window (on most devices). The player has an option to download the file. Another way to download the audio, right click on the button and choose “Save Link” or “Download Linked File”.
An Excerpt from My New York Times Bestselling Book Conscious Uncoupling
Chapter 1: Shame, Blame, and the Failure of Love
We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement—we’ve found “the one,” so we plan and forge our futures together.
But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone; they don’t work out.
Commonly we view this as a personal failure rather than an opportunity. And instead of honoring what we once meant to each other, we hoard bitterness and anger, stewing in shame and resentment—sometimes even lashing out in destructive and hurtful ways, despite the fact that we’re good people at heart.
That’s natural: we’re almost biologically primed to respond this way.
Yet there is another path to the end of a relationship—one filled with mutual respect, kindness, and deep caring.
This powerful excerpt offers you a deeper look into the groundbreaking Conscious Uncoupling process that will steer you away from a bitter end and toward a new life that’s empowered and flourishing.
The Conscious Uncoupling Creed
A Wholehearted Pledge to an Honorable Ending
Join the thousands who’ve committed to an honorable ending by
taking the pledge to adhere to the Conscious Uncoupling Creed.
Are you ready to take the
next step in your healing?
Read my New York Times bestseller
Conscious Uncoupling.
“I read the book. Oh my God, it is good. It felt like six sessions with an excellent therapist. It unearthed some deep stuff that will change the way I am in relationships in the future.”
– Red Magazine
“Thomas proves herself compassionate and emotionally in-tune with the pain of love lost, and her guidance will likely usher many of those afflicted to a brighter, or at least less bitter, future.”
– Publishers Weekly
